In independent sex work, your time is more than just your schedule—it’s your energy, safety, and livelihood. One of the most effective ways to protect those assets is by requesting deposits.
For some, asking for a deposit can feel awkward or intimidating at first. But the truth is, collecting a deposit isn’t just a practical step—it’s a powerful business move. It helps establish respect, filters out unserious clients, and gives you more control over your bookings. Whether you’re just starting to consider it or looking to refine your deposit process, here’s why deposits matter and how to make them work for you.
Not every client will immediately be on board with paying a deposit—especially if it’s new to them. But most resistance stems from fear, habit, or confusion—not from bad intent. Here are proven, adaptable strategies to help you ease them in:
Begin with a low deposit (e.g., $50–$100) to build trust. Once the relationship is established, it becomes easier to increase deposit amounts for longer or more complex bookings.
Some clients hesitate due to privacy concerns. Offering anonymous payment methods—such as crypto, gift cards, or privacy-friendly platforms—can ease those fears. Others simply resist friction, so have popular, easy options like Interac, PayPal, or a crypto wallet ready to go.
Explain that just like screening, a deposit helps ensure both parties are serious and protected. Many clients—especially those who use text apps or pseudonyms—will understand this approach.
Clients are more likely to trust you with a deposit if they’ve seen you online, read reviews, or followed your social media. Invite them to do their research, and then get back to you when they feel confident.
Deposits are industry standard for touring or outcalls. You’re investing in travel, accommodations, and logistics, and clients typically understand that commitment needs to go both ways.
Sometimes when business is slow or we’re working in a new market we have to build up trust first. Tell nervous clients you’ll waive the deposit once—but make it clear that for future dates, one will be required. This often helps ease fears and convert first-timers into regulars. If you offer to waive your deposit requirement, consider whether you require other screening such as a reference, ID and/or proof of proximity photo.
If a client wants a duo, kink session, or after-hours date, it’s perfectly appropriate to require a deposit. These sessions often require extra coordination, and a deposit shows they’re serious.
If someone has previously cancelled, ghosted, or shown up late, politely explain that future bookings will require a deposit. Frame it as a form of accountability—not a punishment.
Sometimes it’s as simple as saying: “Most of my colleagues require deposits—it’s pretty standard these days.” When clients realize this isn’t a one-off rule, they’re more likely to comply.
Some providers only ask for deposits on advance bookings and waive them for short-notice dates. This hybrid model can help you remain flexible while still protecting your time. If waiving for last minute bookings consider whether you require other screening such as a reference, ID and/or proof of proximity photo.
If a client has strong references from reputable providers, you might feel comfortable waiving the deposit. Make clear this is a situational courtesy, not a permanent workaround.
Deposits can make pre-booking more reliable—especially if you’re balancing a busy schedule or prepping for a tour. If a client wants to reserve a specific time far in advance, a deposit is an ideal way to secure that spot.
If a client resists, don’t get defensive. Ask: “Would you feel more comfortable using another method?” or “Is there something about the process that worries you?” Understanding their hesitation helps you adjust without compromising your boundaries.
Not every client will say yes right away. That’s okay. If someone declines, remain calm, respectful, and welcoming. “If you change your mind, I’d love to connect another time.” This keeps the tone professional and may lead to future bookings.
Deposits aren’t about greed or control—they’re about respect, mutual accountability, and professionalism. Every time you ask for one, you’re reinforcing your value and setting the tone for how clients interact with you.
When done with confidence and clarity, deposits:
Whether you’re implementing deposits for the first time or refining your approach, remember: your time is not just valuable—it’s non-refundable. And a deposit helps ensure your time is always treated accordingly.Reduce stress and admin